Joy's Noise

I thought I'd share some fantastic pictures I found on this website. It has the most awesome pictures taken in outer space that I have ever seen!  These pictures are just incredible, and shows us what a wonderous universe is out there.  None of these things can be seen with the naked eye, but yet they're there, they're real and they just will blow your mind with their beauty!  This site might take a while to load, so be patient. The poor guy that set this up to be viewed had to move it to another server on his military website because it was sucking up too much bandwidth from so many people viewing it. It is called "Somewhere in Time" and IS worth the wait while it loads!

 

If you're a pet owner no doubt you've been hearing about all the pet foods that have been recalled lately from the melamine that was in it.  I found a really comprehensive website that has all of the brands (and types) of pet foods that have been recalled. This website is keeping track of it all, and it is kept updated to keep all of us pet food consumers informed.

 

http://www.itchmo.com/recalls.html

 

Also included on this website is information what to do if your pet is sick, or died from this. There are links included for you to report your pets symptoms and resource links for legal action.  There is also a link to the Yahoo Class Action group, if you need it. If you have a cat or a dog, may I suggest signing up for the notification of any future recalls there might be 'fast future recall alerts.'

 

The complete listings include:
For Cats...dry foods, treats, wet type foods (canned, etc)
For Dogs...dry foods, treats, wet type foods.

 

I was surprised at how many different brands of dry bagged dog foods are on the list, and the listings are larger than I ever dreamed! My shepherd became allergic last year to the Alpo dry she used to eat, and is now on a Purina brand and is doing well.  Looking back at it, we couldn't figure out what was in Alpo that was giving her such a bad rash, and rightfully concluded that it was one of the ingredients in it.  We tried all kinds of different brands, even Science Diet, and I was surprised that most of them that we tried are listed here in the recall list.  I can't help but wonder if it was due to the melamine they put in it their formulas.

 

If you have a pet, please visit this website and check it out for the sake of your pet. Here's wishing you and your pet a healthy summer!

 

As most of you know, I live in an oooooooooold house. (The oldest part was built in 1860)  Allison's always mentioning how the bathroom floor needs redone, and I'd always agree.  Then she saw Aunt Sandy & Uncle Ed's new bathroom floor, and it became an obsession, lol.  Next thing I know she's bringing home tile. Whoooo Hooooo, Yowser!!!!!!! I looked it up in the house log, and the linoleum that was in there was soooooo old, it isn't even listed as being done. So, we set to work.  She laid the main part of the tiles, and I did the edges & the tricky cuts around the tub and all.  It came out great!

 

When you spend a lot of time on the floor like that, you notice everything from a different angle.  Of course then it was, good grief, can't we do something about that old tub?! (That kid notices everything!)  So, we got one of those bathtub refinishing kits, which seemed far easier than replacing a whole tub. (And you all know how much I just love plumbing...NOT!) So, refinish it we did.  I must say, I never thought the old tub would ever look like brand new, but with those new kits out with the self-leveling paint, I must say I'm impressed. The only downside was I couldn't let Calgon take me away for a week.

 

After the bathroom got it's little re-do, Allison then stood in the kitchen going 'Gee Mom, the bathroom floor came out so good, I think we should do the kitchen floor too, it would match and just 'flow'.  (Turns out that one was last done in 1964, and my Dad did it. Huh...who knew?) So, after visiting Home Depot, we now had a whole new project.  Looks really good, but I must say, it's a job to do with knee pads on! Then of course, while on the floor for so many hours, you notice the woodwork could stand a fresh coat of paint....(But that's going to have to wait until windows & doors can be opened!)

 

We've been working on the one upstairs bedroom right now.  It's got that old kind of lath and mud walls that are plastered over...you know, the kind where you go to hang a picture and all the old plaster chink behind it tinkles down the inside of the wall? Well, we ripped off the old wallpaper (5 layers) and of course the walls needed replastering.  So, that's the project for now...getting plastered upstairs.  Whew!!!!! I'm going to have to buy that girl a blindfold!  So, how was YOUR past few weeks????

Spring on the farm is always a beautiful time of the year.  The earth is waking up from it's long winters nap, and I love to watch the ritual rebirth of the lands around me.  From my back windows I can see to the end of the front fields where the woods and gully begins before opening into the plateau of the largest fields in the 'back 40.'  Winter and spring are the only times of year that you can see part of the back fields, for as soon as spring comes, it quickly turns into a green and leafy canopy that slowly begins to cover the gully until fields and the wildlife that carouses them are completely hidden from view.  From the first blush of green of the new opening leaves & buds, I watch as trees and underbrush slowly unfurl their new life,  I marvel at how quickly God's paint brush colors the grey world of winter into a spectacular, lush spring of vibrant color.

 

Melting snows always bring surprises, whether it's new mole hills, or branches from trees that toppled in winter storms.  This year I got a different kind of surprise, one that literally made me go 'what the....???'  Last weekend I was invited to go to my friend Aggie's sugarbush party, which marks the end of the maple sugar producing season.   While going past the service driveway that leads to the back fields I noticed somebody had blacktopped quite a many, many yards down the road.  What??  I hadn't noticed it before because our snows were heavy this year, and it kept hidden. I had to check with farmers Bob & Jeff (who farm the back fields) and find out if they had done that, or if they knew anything about it.   Believe me, I wasn't mad or anything, lol, just definitely, genuinely puzzled. 

 

Bob explained:   Last fall when they were paving the state route, they would park their equipment down our service road.  They worked for at least a week, but I wouldn't be able to see them park at night from my house because the driveway is hidden by a stretch of front woods.  Well, one night it rained heavy and when they went to drive their heavy equipment out in the morning, they were stuck in the some mud that was at the top of the driveway by the culvert. 

 

One of the workers saw Bob's huge pile of agricultural lime off to the side and decided they should shovel it under the tires for traction, so they helped themselves...to way more than half of the pile!!  As Bob was driving past on his way home from work, he immediately noticed the absence of his giant lime pile and slammed on his brakes to talk to the foreman of the road crew.  Let's just say he was 'hoppin' mad'.  (And whew, I'm glad I wasn't there...heck, I wouldn't have even wanted to be that proverbial fly on the wall!)  He asked him who was going to pay for the replacement of the lime, and about fixing the deeply rutted driveway entrance and parking area that the heavy equipment left, and the guy just shrugged his shoulders.  Well, I imagine ole Bobbo's eyeballs were poppin' out about then, as well as that vein up by his temple, so I don't even want to know what the next words out of his mouth were, lol. (Sometimes ignorance truly is bliss!!)

 

In the end, they asked if they could repay by paving with their left-over materials rather than scrapping it at the end of the day.  Well, hey...sure!! Lime's way cheaper than blacktop, so that was a no-brainer.  I'm sure they didn't want to have to fill out the paperwork and reimburse, (and we all know how government paperwork is, lol.)   So, that explains why we got a whole lot more than a mere apron at the end of the driveway...that probably explains too why my u-driveway at the house here got  5' aprons as opposed to the normal 1' 1/2 foot ones the rest of the driveways got.

 

Sometimes the melting snows truly do bring unexpected surprises from the winter past.  That was a much nicer surprise than watching it melt this spring and seeing the back lawns peppered with thousands of mole & gopher holes.  My worst fear is that I'm going to turn into that character from the movie where the golf course groundskeeper goes crazy trying to get rid of the gophers...oh well,...at least it's a comedy, and I'd much rather live a life full of comedy as opposed to a drama.  Hope your spring is bright with nice surprises too!

In case you haven't heard about this, I thought you might like to know...The maker of M & M candies has teamed up with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.  Together they will raise funding through the sale of their new 'pink & white' M & M candies.

 

For each 8 ounce bag of these candies they sell, the makers of M & M's (Masterfoods) will donate 50 cents from the profit to the foundation. 

 

There's probably not one of us alive who hasn't been touched by cancer in our lives somewhere along the line.  Either someone we know, someone we work with, or a relative might have been diagnosed, or living with the cancer diagnosis. This is a good cause to support, so if you eat M & M's please pick up a bag of them and do your part to support this worthy cause. They are now available nationwide and easy to find. You'll know the bag when you see it, it has the pink ribbon logo (for breast cancer) and a banner on front that says 'help fight breast cancer.' 

Ok...I admit it, I'm a closet red-neck, lol.  I just LOVE redneck humor, and I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. 

 

 

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS 2005 REDNECK EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the redneck state of mind...If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. This edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen.

 

It reads: WINDERS 2005, with a background picture of Waylon and Willie superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.

 

Please also note:

 

The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up

 

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY INCLUDE:

Cancel............stopdat
Reset..............try'er agin
Yes...............yep
No................nope
Find...............hunt fer it
Go to.............over yonder
Back...............back yonder
Help..............hep me out here
Stop...............kwitit (WHOA!)
Start............crank'er up
Settings..........settins
Programs......... stuff at duz stuff
Documents....... .stuff ah done did

 

Also note that the changes do not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks
 
Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2005:

 

Tiperiter............a word processing program
Colerin' Book..................a graphics program
Cyferin' Mersheen............calculator
Outhouse Paper................notepad
Inner-net......................Microsoft explorer 5.0
Pitchers........................a graphics viewer

 

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused.

 

If you receive a copy of this edition, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. I hope this helps all y'all!

 

Billy Bob Gates
Get 'er done!

I don't know about you, but I get SO sick of all the stupid spams that come my way. It kind of makes you wonder what kind of list you've gotten on. They must sell your name to everybody and anybody. Today, I'd like to pick on the spammers who keep me entertained all day.  Here's my thoughts on todays spam. So...spammers, listen up, here's the deal:

 

1.  I don't need to increase my length anywhere, when I DO need to do that I stick on a pair of high heels, or grab a step-ladder!

 

2.  No, I don't have one of those, and I'm not going to get transgendered to have one either!

 

3.  The only 'wider' I'm ever going to be concerned about is my waist, and I sure don't need that. (refer to #2 above)

 

4.  The only time I want supersized is when I'm at Mc'Donald's or Burger King (refer to #2 above)

 

5.  Thanks, but I don't need a government loan unless it's going for the much needed research on why I'm getting those little lines that are appearing on my forehead.  If there's research into women morphing into a Sharpei, then, well, ok, count me in...

 

6.  I don't want to go to 'The University of Phoenix', I've already spent 57 years in the school of hard knocks, and it appears that I'm a lifetime student there and they're letting me go for free.

 

7.  I don't want to please my husband, I haven't got one.  If I did I'd probably please him with a roast and a homemade apple pie, for starters, then maybe I'd move on to cheesecake...

 

8.  I don't want a Rolex, the only roll I want now-a-days is a big old Bavarian creme one.

 

9.  Chips Ahoy?!  You must have misunderstood, I've said I wanted my ship to come in...not chip.  Quit with the offers already, I'm starting to gain weight just looking at the subject line.

 

10. I won a trip to Cancun 8 times this week!  Hmmmmm...The only Cancun I'll probably ever see is if my hunting crew starts processing them in a kitchen canner instead of freezing the meat (ooooohhhhhh, maybe that must be canned coon I'm thinking of...)

 

11. No, I'm not interested in buying uranium stock or plutonium, the only stock I'd possibly consider at this time would be a new cow, (now THAT is something I could milk for all it's worth)

 

12. Suspicious activity on my eBay account?...hmmmmmm, don't have an eBay account, but I'm guessing the suspicious activity definitely leads back to YOU

 

13. I don't need viagra, v1agra, v1agara, viiagra, or via gra, although it is becoming interesting to see how you mangle words just to bypass the spam filters

 

14. I don't want to know the secret of dropping 40 pounds, if I dropped 40 pounds my Dr would have me in the hospital so fast your head would spin like the little girl in the Exorcist because he's been trying to get me to gain 20# for the past 10 years...

 

So there you have it spammers, I'm not interested...period.  What amazes me is that I get hundreds of these every day and no amount of filtering will stop them from crashing through.  It's been an interesting week of deleting spam.  The only thing I can conclude for sure is that spam, just like death and taxes, is something we all can count on for the rest of our days. 

The maple syrup season is pretty much ended here in northern Ohio.  It's been a low production year for the most part.  In order to get the sap, the temperatures have to be dipping below freezing at night, and above freezing during the day.  There wasn't as much produced around here this year as in years past, so I'm sure the cost will go up because of it.

 

For those of you reading who don't know, it takes approximately 40 to 50 gallons of sap to make one precious gallon of pure maple syrup.  (That and a whooooooole lot of cords of wood to keep the boiling fires going.)

 

Our town has an annual Maple Festival.  It was supposed to be held this coming weekend, but the weather has been so bad that they actually cancelled it and made it for a different weekend later in the month.  In my whole life I can never recall them EVER changing the date for the festival!  Around here, we all know that it rains at least once during the festival weekend, but this year we've been dealing with piles of snow (with more expected on the weekend to come.)

 

Most of us locals avoid town like the plague during festival time.  The festival is held on our town square and they pretty much shut down the roads encircling the square.  Besides that, the traffic becomes insane!  The festival draws a huge amount of people from all over Ohio, which is good for the businesses in town. I haven't been to the festival myself in quite a few years...too many people!  The only thing that could prompt me to go is if one of my friends converted a bathtub for the bathtub race and convinced me that I got to be the one who sat in it, hahaha.

 

 

Pastry for 2-crust pie (homemade or purchased)
1 cup  maple syrup
1/2  cup water
3 tbsp cornstarch
2 tbsp cold water
1/4 cup nuts -- chopped

 

Boil the maple syrup and 1/2 cup of water for 5 minutes. Blend the cornstarch with the 2 tablespoons of water and add to the syrup. Cook, stirring constantly, until mixture is smooth and transparent. Add the butter and chopped nuts and let it cool. Bake between two crusts at 400 degrees F for 25-30 minutes.

 

This recipe dates back to the Colonial days.  In those days they used crushed wheat as a thickener instead of the cornstarch.  I omit the nuts, but with the nuts in it, it sort of resembles a pecan pie.

With tax time rapidly approaching, I thought we all could use a good laugh or two. Every year we all groan and moan, and we sure could use something funny to think about them rather than the *0#/*!!@\ words that usually come to mind, lol.  Just remember while you're preparing your return this year:  America was founded to avoid high taxation (boy, *that's* an oxymoron if I ever heard one...well, moron fits anyways.)

 

Think about this:  Doing your own income tax return is quite a bit like a do-it-yourself mugging, isn't it.  They threaten you, and force you to give up your hard earned money...and they don't even say thanks! If you put the two words "the" and "IRS" together you get theirs...kinda says it all, doesn't it!  I read the other day that they were going to start printing the 1040 form on kleenex because most of us end up paying through the nose.

 

Here's a little tax poem I found while cruising around.  The author is anonymous which is probably a good choice because they might tax him/her on the non-existant royalties, lol. Geez, after reading that poem I'm beginning to wonder if there's anything we're NOT taxed for!

 

Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.

Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.

Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.

Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teach him taxes are no joke.

Tax his car, tax his ass
Tax the roads he must pass.

Tax his tobacco, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his booze, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.

Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.

Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.

Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.

Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!"

And when he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance TAX!

Author Unknown

I thought you might like some quick and easy cookie recipes for Easter.  My grandson and I are making some tomorrow while his parents are at work. The Easter Bunny S'mores (gift in a jar) are a nice little gift to give to a relative, friend, or a shut-in for Easter.  (It's also cute if you do it with Easter Chicks (peeps) instead of the bunnies.)  The Jello cookies are really different, if you use the right colors of Jello they kind of come out looking like Easter eggs and are a pretty addition to the dessert table.

 

Easter Bunny S'mores bar cookies (Gift in a Jar Recipe)

 

1     sleeve of Graham crackers
8     marshmallow bunnies (peeps)
1 1/4 cups Easter M & M's (or the pastel ones)
1/3   cup brown sugar
1     1 quart canning jar with lid

 

Put the graham crackers in a ziplock baggie and with a rolling pin crush them until they're crumbs.  Put about 2/3 of the crumbs into the canning jar, and then put 8 marshmallow bunny peeps standing up (face them out around the inside of the jar pressing them up against the glass...don't squish 'em!)  Then spoon the remaining crumbs into the center of the jar to help support the bunnies in place; press down and keep it snug.  Put the brown sugar in the center, and then the M & M's on top, gently press down with a spoon so it all fits in. Put the lid on, and then make (and attatch) a gift tag as follows:

 

Easter Bunny S'mores
Empty the contents of the jar into a bowl.  Cut the bunnies into smaller pieces with a knife or kitchen scissors.  Put the bunny bits into the bowl with the mixture and mix well.  Melt 1/2 cup of butter (or margerine) and then add 1 teaspoon vanilla extract.  Pour this over the dry ingredients and mix well.  Pat into a greased 9 inch square pan.  Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes, or until lightly browned.  Cool and cut into bars.  Makes 9 to 12 bar cookies.

 

*Even if you don't make this for a gift in a jar, the kids still enjoy making them.

 

1/2   cup granulated sugar
1     (3 oz) box of Jello (your choice of flavor, I use orange, lemon, cherry, etc)
1     teaspoon baking powder
1     teaspoon salt
2 1/2 cups all purpose flour
3/4   cup shortening
2     eggs
1     teaspoon vanilla extract

 

In a big bowl, mix sugar, Jello, baking powder, salt and flour together well using a wire whisk. 

Mix the shortening, eggs & vanilla together in a bowl, and then add the dry ingredients from the other bowl.  Mix together well.  Roll cookies into small balls.  Put them on greased cookie sheets, and then dip a glass bottom into sugar and use it to flatten out the balls.  Bake at 350 degrees for 7-10 minutes until done but NOT browned. Makes about 2 1/2 dozen cookies.  The Jello gives them a pretty color, and they taste great too!